Six Sentence Sunday

This week is still continuing an excerpt from Bonded in Exile. Hope you’re enjoying it! Thanks for reading and posting your comments 🙂

“Silas,” Emily called after him, her voice hoarse, her throat, painfully raw. She took a step after him and came down on her lacerated heel, sending a sharp, burning pain racing up her leg–she yelped. Now that caught his attention, Silas froze mid-step and spun back around to face her. His eyes glowed like two purple fireflies in the darkness. His chest heaved with each breath—steam billowed from his nostrils like an enraged bull as he limped back into the cabin. “You’re bleeding,” they both said at the same time.

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14 responses

  1. I love how they come together in the aftermath of the fight.

    January 22, 2012 at 8:53 am

  2. Great six, with excellent imagery. I could see and hear them both.

    January 22, 2012 at 9:44 am

  3. Great scene, very vivid! I think you mean “hoarse” in the first line.

    January 22, 2012 at 10:21 am

  4. Great six, very vivid!

    January 22, 2012 at 10:43 am

  5. Very visual. And I could feel the cut heel when she stepped on it. Ouch! Loved that they are in sync on that last line. 🙂

    January 22, 2012 at 11:26 am

  6. Very vivid details. Love the description of his eyes.

    January 22, 2012 at 1:06 pm

  7. Such an intense scene, and I love that moment at the end. I can really see this!

    January 22, 2012 at 1:14 pm

  8. Ah ha! He is concerned about her. But when will he admit it, I wonder… Love the intensity of this whole story line. 🙂

    January 22, 2012 at 1:28 pm

  9. Intense scene. Love the shared dialog at the end.

    January 22, 2012 at 1:50 pm

  10. Oh, I’m so jealous of your skill with vivid imagery I could cry 😛

    January 22, 2012 at 4:18 pm

  11. Alix Cameron

    Intense six, well done.

    January 22, 2012 at 6:16 pm

  12. Mirriam Smyth

    Well written. Intense and vivid.

    January 22, 2012 at 9:07 pm

  13. Monica Enderle Pierce

    Love that her little yelp of pain is what draws him back. That’s a nice tell.

    January 22, 2012 at 9:09 pm

  14. So much passion is so few words. Wonderful imagery in this.

    January 24, 2012 at 5:36 pm

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